Saying Goodbye......?

 As I was sitting in my last class of the day, with only 6 more minutes to go, I looked around at the students. Really looked.

I realized that I WILL miss being in a classroom. Classrooms have been a part of my life since 2007.  English class. Social studies class (love), L.A. class, (not so much), Consumer Science and Sciences classes (two of my favorites). It seems funny to not be planning on going back.

I wonder, will I miss these particular students? Probably not. I will however miss the atmosphere of learning.  I will miss spending my days trying to make an impact, even a small one, on a young mind. I love the idea of learning. Of seeking knowledge just for the sake of the knowledge. I love ferreting out facts and bits of information.

I am a bit idealistic. I have come to realize that my expectations of educating students falls short of the reality.  Have I changed in the past seven years, or have the kids? Not really sure.

It seems to me, that as the years have passed,  the level of respect from said students has shifted downward. Of course it could be my imagination. Has respecting an adult become passe. Is it old fashioned and a thing of the past, or am I sensitive. (Those who know me would not say it is the sensitivity thing).

While I am deciding what path to take next, I ponder the one I just stepped off of. I know I will miss the   joy I felt coming to work. I really like school. I loved the teachers I worked with, enjoyed time after hours spent with these people who have become cherished friends, the smell of books, the atmosphere of new beginnings, creative ideas and believing that anything is possible.

Of course I won't miss the sass, the way some middle school kids can be so mean to their peers, the fact that some feel free to mock, mumble and disparage the adults trying to educate them, and their utter disregard for the education process in general. While that is not all, it seems that as the years pass, the numbers grow.

While deciding what to do from here. I often ask myself, (and others), is this level of disdain from students everywhere, or just at this building?  Can I continue to cope with obnoxious attitude and not lose my mind? But most of all, I ask ..."What happened". When did teachers become the bad guys and learning new ideas, working hard for acknowledgment, and setting high expectations become such an outdated ideal?  Or is it just me?

I am not sure.

For now though, I will take this time to clear my brain and take a break from the kids. Maybe that is all I  need.  Get rid of the cobwebs. Start fresh at a  new school where disrespecting adults is not tolerated, the kids are expected to bring a pencil to class, do their homework, pass their classes through hard work and studying and respect the staff and fellow students.

If you know of such a place.....let me know. I can travel....even to Fantasyland.

Until later,
Deborah E.